Meditation Is The Place Where I Am Nothing And Everything
Surfing the Internet about meditation technique and methods, I have found many of them. Some sources talked about the correct postures, another suggested using mantra, visualization and focusing on the importance of breathing. At the end, I am overwhelmed with all these available tools --- how can I use all of them at one session? Should I follow one technique or mix them together? And, finally, how does meditation influence my life?
While I was googling and wondering, I found many recommendations and steps to start meditation, but I had no idea how to continue it …
… So one sunless day I sat down in a “meditation posture” and started my inner journey. Fidgeting and attending to each thought, I was feeling caught up in my own trap. Now I know – it was a trap of my expectations and imagination about life. Facing it was the toughest thing for me, because I realized that I have been bias with my thoughts and ego, there, I feel incomplete. Wanting to be fulfilled, I had decided to focus on emptiness. I wanted to free myself from illusions, bondage of fears and find inner meaning – I feel that so many qualities of my thoughts and attitude needed to be purified.
At the beginning of my “purification” process, I wanted to feel peaceful as I was listening to the song “Beautiful” by India Arie over and over again, and the lyrics were so sincere and heartfelt, especially the verse:
I wanna go to place where I am nothing and everything
That exists between here and nowhere.
I wanna go to place where I can hold the intangible
And let go of the pain with all my might
It was so strange that the song matches what I was looking for at the time, and that was to find this place.
As time has gone by, the Universe was very kind to me and had given me the present – and that present was the opportunity to receive the training meditation fellowship in Thailand with Peace Revolution. Two weeks intensive training program among people from all over the world, which was guided by monks… Unbelievable! It is as if paradise is real! After meeting all the participants and found that this fellowship was created by people that are filled with love and peace, I found it go be real indeed.
On June 2013, Twenty-nine participants from different countries had gathered in the beautiful place called a sanctuary, Yoi Noi Island. Different cultures, dissimilar backgrounds and languages didn’t matter – meditation united us. Everyone of us came to this retreat with different goals and expectation but we all ended up with true happiness and joy.
As the first session begins, I understood the monk's saying --- “there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way”. It is the way of being happy in each minute of life and to accept everything no matter what ---this retreat helped me to rediscover, review and, at last, retreat myself and my fellow participants immensely, it was the deepest and the most memorable experience I have ever had. The Soft-Spoken and Kind monks' guidances had helped me to understand my life clearer and I am now more focused. I realize that there is no need for all the dramas, high expectations, or always thinking about the past and the future, instead of being in the present moment! All these has taught me that Meditation is the place where I am nothing and everything.