I have coached over 2000 people determined to commit to developing themselves with the help of meditation.

For someone who is new to meditation and not only, one of the most common beliefs is that when one meditates, there will be absolute freedom from thoughts. That thoughts will stop completely and often the definition of a good meditation will be the complete cessation of our thoughts. Yet, it's with our thoughts and mental patterns where the personal development and transformation starts.

I will focus on two aspects: (1) expecting absolute stillness of mind and (2) inner wisdom.

No more disappointment when thoughts are present

Instead of expecting to be free from thoughts, take control over your time in meditation! Prepare the body and relax. Use specific methods and meditation techniques that you can learn here in order to be able to bring the mind to a point of concentration and comfort without looking at cessation of thoughts as the ultimate goal.

Train yourself to develop the neutral mind to prevent being disappointed by the presence of thoughts. Accept what is there and you'll be able to maintain neutral to both feelings of happiness and sadness. If we are stuck in one thought or event, this becomes bigger and bigger. It gains power over us and it tends to drain our energy since a lot of our focus is there. A neutral attitude reduces the reactions that we normally have to thoughts when sitting in meditation.

Develop your insight and wisdom

Start with committing to regular meditation and mindfulness practice. You might experience some mental activity, yet it's our inner chatter, habits or fears that reveal a lot about ourselves and make the personal transformation process valuable. How to develop insight and wisdom if we are all the time craving to be without thoughts?

Here is what I have learned from thought observation:

• To practice detachment by not trying to grasp the good or bad feelings

• Letting go and the liberation that comes from it

• The power of loving kindness towards myself and others

• To see goodness and actively do good

• The importance of mastering attention

Learn to be at peace with what is there and you will be more happy and content which at the end of the day matters the most.

Photo credits: Frank Mckenna @unsplash